Cat’s In The Cradle

Pretty much everyone has heard the song “Cat’s In The Cradle” by Harry Chapin. It’s an old song but quite relevant, especially today.

I always had a different take on the end of the song than many people do. “I’ve long since retired/my son’s moved away/I called him up just the other day/I said I’d like to see you if you don’t mind/He said I’d love to dad if I can find the time/You see my new job’s a hassle and the kids have the flu/But it’s sure nice talking to you, dad/It’s been sure nice talking to you/And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me/He’d grown up just like me/My boy was just like me..”

I beg to differ. Notice the line where he mentions his kids having the flu? That indicates to me that his son is taking an active role in the raising of his children. The father, who was always selfish, wants his son to leave his family to come visit the father. Does the father offer to come help with the sick children, his own grandchildren? No. He sits and feels sorry for himself in his arrogance and selfishness. The father is too arrogant to see the truth while the son is telling him he will not neglect his family for the man who neglected him.

Chapin’s song was prophetic and it was meant to be. It came out with perfect timing but the people who heard it failed to actually listen to the warning. Since the song was published, we have had multiple generations grow up in exactly those conditions. At first with the Boomers, who focused on wealth above family. Since them, each generation has spiraled downward, struggling to gain not wealth but first hold onto the American Dream. Then simple basic security. Now down to merely surviving from day to day.

Boomers make frequent jokes about blowing their children’s inheritance money. Great, so they spent years ignoring their children while chasing money and now, the final legacy that can benefit their children they will spend on themselves. BUT they want their families to drop everything and pay attention to them.

Over the same generations, there has been a social and spiritual evolution going on. Boomers are blind to it. Fathers have become more likely to be active parents, cooks, teachers, caregivers, taking part in maintaining the house. Okay, I said it has become MORE common. It is FAR more common for men to fight for greater custody of children in a divorce than it was in the 70’s. More men cook, do laundry and much more.